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Why should I read this brochure?
Parents need to have honest conversations with their kids about all
kinds of tough issues. Talking about sexual orientation is especially
important. Here’s why:
- Talking about sexual orientation can protect your child
from prejudice. Your child may at some point be called "gay"
or "fag" even if she or he isn’t gay. And your child will
probably see kids teased or attacked for supposedly "being gay."
There are more than two million school-age lesbian and gay Americans.
Many of these children are subjected to verbal or physical abuse by
their peers and even by their teachers, according to a report by the
highly respected organization Human Rights Watch. Visit the web site
http://www.hrw.org/reports/2001/uslgbt/
to read the powerful Human Rights Watch report.
Many heterosexual children also suffer the consequences of anti-gay
prejudice. Talking with your kids from a young age about sexual orientation
will help them to deal with fears, prejudices and misinformation they
will inevitably be exposed to.
- Talking about sexual orientation will help you to pass
on the values of respect and understanding to your child.
Like most kids, your children and teens probably have relatives or
family friends who are gay and they see gay characters on TV. Your
child will have questions about gay people and will look to you for
answers. Your silence on these issues can be interpreted in ways you
don’t intend, so it’s important to take these opportunities to share
your values with your child.
You don’t have to fully understand or accept homosexuality to promote
tolerance. Misinformation, ignorance and fear about homosexuality
can sometimes lead to violence and bullying against children perceived
as different - regardless of whether or not they are gay. By speaking
with your son or daughter, you will be teaching important values like
respect for the feelings of other people, regardless of differences.
- Talking about sexual orientation will make it easier to
discuss other tough issues with your child. Sexual orientation
is one of the toughest issues for parents to discuss with their children.
If you can talk to your kids about it, you’ll be better prepared to
talk about other important yet difficult subjects.
This brochure suggests a few ways to turn awkward moments into opportunities
for you to become closer to your child. Throughout this brochure are
quotes from parents who discuss their experience talking to their
children about gays and lesbians.
| A
nationwide survey of 1,000 parents in 2001 found the following:
- 61% said they
would discuss homosexuality if their children asked questions.
- 56% of parents
say that prejudice and discrimination against gays and lesbians
is morally wrong.
- 67% of parents
believe in teaching children that gay people are just like other
people.
Survey of 1,000
parents, Lake Snell Perry and Associates, 2001 |
For more information, contact:
Mental Health America
2000 N. Beauregard Street, 6th Floor
Alexandria, VA 22311
Phone 800-969-NMHA (6642)
TTY 800-433-5959
Fax 703-684-5968
Email: infoctr@nmha.org
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Overview
Booklet
for Parents
Print Version (154kPDF)
How to Talk
with:
Questions
and Answers
Resources
Tip Sheets
| In the suburbs where we live, the worst
insult you can sling at another kid is to call him gay. "He’s
so gay," kids say. Out of all the bad things you could say
about someone he’s mean, selfish, ill-tempered, ignorant, greedy
I can’t believe that calling someone gay is the ultimate cut.
Marta Miller,
mother of three,
Wyckoff, NJ |
| Your kids take clues from the things you
do every day. But other things you want to bring up with them because
they won’t bring them up. Especially because the media is a huge
influence on the way my kids see things. It’s everywhere. I mean
the TV and the advertising. And their friends, too. So when it comes
to sexual orientation, I want them to know that my view is that
people are people. Their sexual orientation is their business. It
doesn’t have to be a big deal.
Anne-Marie O’Dowd
mother of three,
Nonantum, MA
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