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Tips for your discussion
- Don’t wait for your child to bring up the subject seek out
"talk opportunities." Although parents may agree
that talking about sexual orientation with their kids is important,
many don’t want to start with young children. But if you begin to
talk with your child from an early age - with age-appropriate language
- you’ll teach your child tolerance and respect.
When considering a discussion with younger children, remember that
you don’t need to talk about sex when you talk about sexual orientation.
Only part of being gay or lesbian is about a sexual relationship.
It’s more important that children understand that an intimate, loving
relationship is sometimes shared between two men or two women in the
same way men and women who are heterosexual care for one another.
You can use "talk opportunities," like TV shows, experiences
in your own life, or experiences in your child’s life to start a discussion.
Teens tend to tune out more formal discussions anyway, often categorizing
them as just another lecture from mom or dad. Keep an ear out for
these "talk opportunities."
- Listen. Listening carefully will help you to understand
what your child really wants to know as well as what he or she already
understands. It will keep you from talking above their heads and confusing
them even further.
- Talk about it again. Most young kids can only absorb
small bits of information at a time. Let some time pass then ask your
child to tell you what he or she remembers about your conversation.
This will help you correct any misconceptions or fill in missing facts.
- Relax. Don’t worry if you don’t have all the answers.
You can always do a bit of research later (see the Resources
section). What is important is how you respond. If you can convey
the message that no subject - including sexual orientation - is forbidden
in your home, you’ll do just fine.
For more information, contact:
Mental Health America
2000 N. Beauregard Street, 6th Floor
Alexandria, VA 22311
Phone 800-969-NMHA (6642)
TTY 800-433-5959
Fax 703-684-5968
Email: infoctr@nmha.org
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Overview
Booklet
for Parents
Print Version (154kPDF)
How to Talk
with:
Questions
and Answers
Resources
Tip
Sheets
| What
I’ve always told my kids is that some people choose to be together
in a long-term relationship just like their mom and I chose to
be together. I discuss it in the context of a relationship not
sexuality. I give an answer that’s appropriate for an eleven year-old.
I think you need to keep it simple and short. Keep it in a realm
that a child can handle. The important thing is just to have a
relationship that’s open with your child and to be able to discuss
anything.
Geoff Hill,
father of two,
Bakersfield, CA
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