| Children sense the anxiety and tension in adults
around them. And, like adults, children experience the same feelings of
helplessness and lack of control that disaster-related stress can bring
about.
Unlike adults, however, children have little experience to help them
place their current situation into perspective.
Each child responds differently to disasters, depending on his or her
understanding and maturity, but it’s easy to see how an event like this
can create a great deal of anxiety in children of all ages because they
will interpret the disaster as a personal danger to themselves and those
they care about.
Whatever the child’s age or relationship to the damage caused by disaster,
it’s important that you be open about the consequences for your family,
and that you encourage him or her to talk about it.
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Quick Tips for Parents
- Children need comforting and frequent reassurance that they’re
safe make sure they get it.
- Be honest and open about the disaster.
- Encourage children to express their feelings through talking,
drawing or playing.
- Try to maintain your daily routines as much as possible.
- For more information call the National Mental Health Association
1-800-969-NMHA (6642)
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Pre-School Age Children
Behavior such as bed-wetting, thumb sucking, baby talk, or a fear of
sleeping alone may intensify in some younger children, or reappear in
children who had previously outgrown them. They may complain of very real
stomach cramps or headaches, and be reluctant to go to school. It’s important
to remember that these children are not "being bad" --they’re afraid.
Here are some suggestions to help them cope with their fears:
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Reassure young children that they’re safe. Provide extra comfort
and contact by discussing the child’s fears at night, by telephoning
during the day and with extra physical comforting.
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Get a better understanding of a child’s feelings about the disaster.
Discuss the disaster with them and find out each child’s particular
fears and concerns. Answer all questions they may ask and provide
them loving comfort and care. You can work to structure children’s
play so that it remains constructive, serving as an outlet for them
to express fear or anger.
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Grade-School Age Children
Children this age may ask many questions about the disaster, and it’s
important that you try to answer them in clear and simple language.
If a child is concerned about a parent who is distressed, don’t tell
a child not to worry--doing so will just make him or her worry more.
Here are several important things to remember with school-age children:
- False reassurance does not help this age group. Don’t say disasters
will never affect your family again; children will know this isn’t true.
Instead, say “You’re safe now and I’ll always try to protect you,--
or--Adults are working very hard to make things safe.” Remind children
that disasters are very rare. Children’s fears often get worse around
bedtime, so you might want to stick around until the child falls asleep
in order to make him or her feel protected.
- Monitor children’s media viewing. Images of the disaster and
the damage are extremely frightening to children, so consider limiting
the amount of media coverage they see. A good way to do this without
calling attention to your own concern is to regularly schedule an activity--story
reading, drawing, movies, or letter writing, for example--during news
shows.
- Allow them to express themselves through play or drawing. As
with younger children, school-age children sometimes find comfort in
expressing themselves through playing games or drawing scenes of the
disaster. Allowing them to do so, and then talking about it, gives you
the chance to "re-tell" the ending of the game or the story they have
expressed in pictures with an emphasis on personal safety.
- Don’t be afraid to say "I don’t know." Part of keeping discussion
of the disaster open and honest is not being afraid to say you don’t
know how to answer a child’s question. When such an occasion arises,
explain to your child that disasters are extremely rare, and they cause
feelings that even adults have trouble dealing with. Temper this by
explaining that, even so, adults will always work very hard to keep
children safe and secure.
Adolescents
Encourage these youth to work out their concerns about the disaster.
Adolescents may try to down-play their worries. It is generally a good
idea to talk about these issues, keeping the lines of communication open
and remaining honest about the financial, physical and emotional impact
of the disaster on your family. When adolescents are frightened, they
may express their fear through acting out or regressing to younger habits.
- Children with existing emotional problems such as depression may require
careful supervision and additional support.
- Monitor their media exposure to the event and information they receive
on the Internet.
- Adolescents may turn to their friends for support. Encourage friends
and families to get together and discuss the event to allay fears.
© 2001 National Mental Health Association
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