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Bullying and What To Do About
It
Although its always been around, bullying should never be accepted as normal
behavior. The feelings experienced by victims of bullying are painful and
lasting. Bullies, if not stopped, can progress to more serious, antisocial
behavior. Recent incidents of school violence show that bullying can have
tragic consequences for individuals, families, schools, and entire communities.
Recognize It (for what it is)
Bullying is aggressive behavior. A child is
targeted by one or more youths with repeated negative actions over a
period of time. These are intentional attempts to cause discomfort or
injury and can include name-calling, making faces, obscene gesturing,
malicious teasing, threats, rumors, physical hitting, kicking, pushing,
and choking. More subtle is simply excluding a child from the group.
Generally, bullying occurs when there’s an imbalance of power favoring
the bully. Victims usually feel they don’t have the strength to defend
themselves. Make no mistake, bullying is a form of violence that shouldn’t
be tolerated.
See the Scope of the Problem
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The Journal of the American
Medical Association recently reported that one-third of U.S.
students experience bullying, either as a target or a perpetrator.
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A high level of parents (47%) and teachers (77%)
report children victimized by bullies.
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Bullying and violence cause 160,000 fearful
children to miss one or more school days each month.
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Only a small percentage of children believe
that telling adults will help. Children generally feel that adult
intervention is ineffective and will only bring more harassment.
Spot the Bullies
- They are both boys and girls. Boys bully more often and more
physically than girls. Girls are more likely to use rejection and
slander.
- Bullies usually pick on others out of frustration with their
own lives. They target other children because they need a victim
who is weaker than them.
- While they may feel uneasy about it, many children tease their
peers simply to go along with the crowd.
- Bullies sometimes suffer from depression. They’re
often from homes where harsh punishment and inconsistent discipline
are used. Sixty
percent of male bullies will be arrested by age 24.
Know Their Targets
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Girls and boys alike are targeted.
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Those who are physically different in race,
body size, or clothing. Those with disabilities or those who are
dealing with sexual orientation issues. Both groups are kids who
are typically anxious, insecure, and suffering from low self-esteem.
This makes them good targets.
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There are few differences among racial and ethnic
groups in the numbers of students being bullied. White and black
students are more likely to report it than others.
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Three million U.S. teenagers have serious problems
in school because they’re taunted with anti-gay slurs. According
to several surveys, four out of five gay and lesbian students say
they don’t know one supportive adult at school. They say teachers
ignore harassment 97 percent of the time.
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Start
early. Parent/child talks are critical. Teach kids to
respect others before they start school and continue to talk
about this topic on an ongoing basis. Even small acts of teasing
should be stopped in their tracks. Don’t fail to correct this
kind of behavior due to a child’s young age. This is exactly
when to stop it.
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Teach your children how to be assertive. Encourage
your children to express their feelings clearly, say no when they
feel uncomfortable or pressured, stand up for themselves without
fighting, and walk away in dangerous situations. Bullies are less
likely to intimidate children who are confident and resourceful.
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Stop bullying when you see it. Adults
who remain silent when children are bullying others give permission
to the behavior and thereby encourage it.
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Tell your children to take action when
they see bullying behavior. Tell them to speak
out against the bully and inform a teacher if the behavior doesn’t
stop. Bullying continues only when we allow it to.
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Communicate clear policies and consequences. Bullying
is less likely in schools where adults are involved and firm about
stopping bullying behaviors. Send out a clear message at your school
that bullying will have negative consequences.
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Team up. Work with your PTA
or local mental health association to make sure that schools treat
bullying as violence. Help them develop programs to prevent bullying
and promote safe school environments.
Other resources:
You can find more helpful information about bullying at the following websites:
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